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From a metaphysical standpoint, successful sex results from a balanced merging of masculine and feminine energies between partners. Naturally then, sexual problems usually arise from an imbalance in sexual energies. How then do we balance our energies for better sex?
Before we begin to unravel this problem, we must understand that the mind plays a big part in sex. As much as we would like to think that we have our technique down flat, and as much as we have primed our bodies to the best of our abilities, if the mind is not aroused or has not participated fully, we will not be able to derive as much pleasure or as much intimacy as we could possibly achieve if our body and soul were fully involved.
Therein lies the crux of the problem, our minds. As long as all your physical organs are in place, more often than not, problems like frigidity and impotence arise from the mind. If you don’t avoid your responsibility for your own problems, you will realise that you are at the root of your problems.
When we probe into our sexual inhibitions honestly, we will realise our true motivations for sex or our true motivations that are withholding us from an open and honest sex act.
Frigidity in women is often the result of women not being comfortable in their receptive and passive feminine role. More often than not, if they’re conscious about it, they’ll find that they have an active masculine energy that prefers to “wear the pants” in the relationship. Conflicts will occur if the male is also very masculine, hence the subconscious power struggle that inhibits the woman from fully surrendering to the sex act. Likewise, impotence in a man is a result of him identifying more fully with his passive and submissive side out of fear of his own manhood and aggression and hence not acting out his masculine side fully which is absolutely necessary for good sexual relations.
The solution of course is to bring our masculine and feminine energies into balance and to play our masculine and feminine roles to their full. Only then can we bestow ourselves fully into the joy and spontaneity of sex.
The approaches to balancing our masculine and feminine energies are varied. We can do so through either or all of the three paths of energy work, physical work or mental work.
The energy path encompasses methods like energy healing or meditation to bring our energies into balance. In an energetic healing practice like reiki, one can approach an experienced practitioner who can use divine energy channeled through the healer to help to balance the usually slow flow of energy in one’s second chakra and bring about deep healing with regards to our sexuality wounds.
The physical path involves taking action. When we become aware of our subconscious motivations for inhibiting sex, we can then take physical action to identify more with our masculine and feminine roles. For example, actively becoming more aggressive as a male, establishing boundaries, becoming more competitive, working out etc.
What we cannot avoid is the absolutely necessary act of honest introspection and grappling with our souls. When we become clear about our subconscious motivations, resistances and inhibitions, we are one step closer to freeing ourselves to the spontaneity and pleasures of sex and the growth and development that comes from giving ourselves to another in a relationship.
This article was contributed by Sonia Ong, Reiki Master/Teacher and Vedic Astrologer. It was first published in the magazine Love Airways, in July 2008.